My name is Dawud and I am 9 years old. I live in the city of Aleppo, located in a country called Syria. My father used to work in a drugstore before it was exploded by the devil. My mother was a housewife. She used to take best care of us before she lost her hands. Now can't hold my hand. I have a 11 year old big brother named Adil and a sister called Aisyah. She was 5 when we found her under the rubble. She doesn't live with us anymore. My father told me she stays with grandmother and father, in heaven. I did not understand why she had to go, because she was too young. I used to think only old people went to heaven.

As I was a big brother of her, I liked to make fun of her and was considered mean actually. I like to yank her hair, and stole her doll just to tease her till she cried but well I only wanted to have fun. I never meant to really make her sad and annoyed. Now neither I can beg her sorry nor I would be able to get the chance to tell her I love her. Mama said that people in heaven can still see us, so at night before I go to sleep, I tell her I am sorry and I wish her to take me to heaven with her.

I miss my school that I can't go to anymore because it's no longer safe for children and anyways most of the classrooms were destroyed, and... there are bad people who control the city and they have guns, they have ugly long beards untidy and they never smile and whenever I see their faces I am super scared of them, they are all scary. Mama told me that they kidnapped my cousin Fawziyah that we don't know where she is now. Even though I don't go to school anymore I still can study with my brother at home but it doesn't feel the same. I also miss my friends that I no longer hear from them at all.

I used to have a friend called Hayder, my best friend, but he moved away from Ghouta. My dad told me they attempted to go to a foreign country, somewhere far from the flaming bombs and falling explosion from the sky, but then my cousin Ibrahim, who was friends with his big brother Ali told me that he drowned in the sea while they were trying to cross by swimming. I don’t know its name I forgot. I cried when I knew that he went to heaven,but I was sure he could play with Aisyah.

I can’t play soccer anymore. First of all the fields are now full of ashes, and it is not safe to go there, there are “thugs” that my dad taught me this new word. Those thugs usually stop you, and take your money or whatever you have. We really have no money, we hardly eat anymore, my auntie Fikriyyah who lives in Saudi Arabia used to send us money with someone, but now it is too hard because the city is surrounded by armed soldiers. Another word I learned from my dad, it means that the army is surrounding us so the bad people can stay inside. But we are not bad people, I don’t know why we cannot get out. My dad said because we have nowhere to go.

Now I am hungry, my mama is sick, can't cook. My house used to be nice, we used to have a big screen Lcd TV, and I used to watch cartoon but now we have no electricity at all, and the house is destroyed because the planes came and dropped bombs, and that is when Aisyah went to heaven and my mama lost her hands. We put plastic on the roof but now it is winter and it is really cold. I still have one book, some of the pages are burned. I don't really like reading but I love watching pictures and imagining. Adil tells me stories...stories about safe places, with children who can go to school, and learn new things and also memorizing the Holy Quran. He told me they can play in gardens and playgrounds. There are candy stores and amusement parks. I have never seen these things, but Adil can draw and he has a notebook and a pen, and everyday he draws me a new picture.

Today he drew a picture of our family, my mama looks like she has complete hands, my papa, me and Adil and Aisyah.. Hayder was also in the picture. I looked at it one last time and smiled before I folded the paper carefully and put it between the burned pages of my one only book.

[Not a actual story. It's only a piece of my writings that I dedicate it for the children in Syria and other countries that going under war]

[Inspired by a movie titled 'Fghting'. Picture is taken from the movie scene.]

A little boy, around the age of 7 is sitting on a bench of a park. His mouth never stops chewing the gummy bears with her legs swinging back and forth down from the seat. A girl, not really far from where the boy sits is sitting on a swing, she giggles cheerfully as if swinging on the swing is the best reason to be happy. That was children. They have enough reasons to be happy. Unlike me. I am just a piece of shit. I am sitting here, homeless, no family. I don't have anything but few pieces of clothing.

I got fired a weeks ago because I spat right onto my boss' face. I don't wanna tell the reason but one thing he deserves worse than just my respecting saliva. I just got dumped from cozy little flat cause I couldn't pay the bills. Obviously. I have spent the first two nights sleeping here at the other bench of the park before my mate welcomed me to stay in his apartment till I get a better job. I envy the kids who can just be happy for simplest reasons and I wish I were one of them, under the care of my mom, being spoiled, and shit.

Instead I am a guy who is eating cheap street food at the park while watching the kids. Once in a while losing in thought and cursing his life. I see nothing but darkness except tonight that I will I have a date with a very very gorgeous female in town. Her daddy is a multi billionaire shit, I ever met him for the first time and I had no power to say a word. His eyes were too intimidating and like shooting me down to my knees. I might look well shaped and muscly but his eyes were like eagle ready to hunt his prey.

The kids are taken away by their parents after catching me staring suspiciously at their daughter, they might think I plan to kidnap their kids, I didn't give shit cause well I am too excited for the date I will have, despite all the pathetic stories I carry. Me and my angel catch up at a rooftop of abandoned building just around the corner. I walk from the park after I finish my cold food. I look at myself for a little bit and I think I look just fine. I walk and can't wait to meet her immediately.

It's been weeks since last time I saw her. By only looking at her face half of my nerves, my pessimistic, my point of surrender vanish. And her smile makes my heart skip a bit, I approach her and stop inches away in front of her. I can smell her perfume, always smells like coconut. I return the smile and I take my eyes away from her because damn it I can't keep up, she is just too gorgeous for a poor man like me.

She swings her hand but she doesn’t touch me. She never does. I imagine how it feels so great when her hand runs down my back but then I am drown in her embrace, I wrap my arms around her and embrace her like there is no tomorrow. But no I won’t do that. It’s enough for now to just get her near me. Enough to calm me down. She is enough to give me reason to smile. But then.. I hear a sob. She is crying burying her face in her hands.

"What happens?" I ask under my breath and I think I am the weakest man ever. Yeah she is my weakness, and seeing her cry makes it even worse.

"Who hurts you? Tell me!" I ask like an idiot but I will do anything I will make sure she is okay.

"I missed you." She says in between her sobs then she takes her hands away uncovering her face. I can see her face again. She wipes her tear off her face and chuckle in her cry. "I am sorry I am crying."

I find it so cute of her that I want to pull her into another hug but all I do is stand there and watch her wipe her eyes.

"I need to talk about something.." I say hesitantly then she immediately grabs me by tugging at my shirt leading towards a worn-out sofa near a corner of the rooftop, sits steady against the wall. We plop onto it and sit next to each other. "What do you want to talk?" She asks.

I tell her what happened to me. And I need her to comfort me. She does as always. He voice softly and lovingly rubs over myself, she supports me, she tells that she will help me financially but I simply refuse I am not that kind of guy, I am telling her because I need someone to tell me that everything is going to be better soon that is enough for me.

We eventually fall asleep next to each other for few hours and when I open my eyes I see her smile for the thousand times. She cleans my heart. I want to spend more time with her but we know it is the time to say good bye. I walk her down the building and let her take a cab to go back home while I take another direction to my friend's apartment. I kick a stone away like a professional footballer. I take a deep breath, putting my hood on and jog till I reach the apartment.

I strip my hoodie and jeans off and carelessly throw the on the floor and throw myself in bed. I sleep like a corpse and I wake up the next day with her face still in my mind. I sit for good few minutes rubbing my eyes like a little baby then I pick my clothes up from the floor to throw them in the hamper. My mate greets me but he doesn't take his eyes off his laptop screen. Playing game and having nice creamy coffee, his morning ritual.

Something that catches my attention when I pick my clothes from the floor is a piece of paper lays on the floor, with a handwritten on it. It is familiar. Hers. It reads My bottom lip inserts between my upper and lower teeth. I walk towards the balcony.

I know I will marry her.